The Smile That Makes Me Cry In Happiness

 Today, I could say nothing. I was just speechless when I saw that smile, only my heart which could talk and cry over than before. There was no tear on my face, but there was so much tear in my heart. I cried in the happiness, I felt so blessed and I was like the luckiest girl in this world, to be given the best life and the greatest mother within my life.

Maybe, today is a simple day, just an ordinary Friday in the middle of December. But for me, today is one of best scenes in my life because I could see the smile. For some months I have striven to do my best. As a good student, I studied well even though spring fever used to disturb me, but I kept doing my best and… all of us certainly know that if we do the best and if God permits us, we will get the best also, and today that thing happened in my life.

Almost 12 years being a student, I used to take my school report by myself. Even though sometimes my aunt accompanied me, but my mother never did that and it meant that those days weren’t perfect days. Since my family had broken, exactly when I was 3 years old, my mother has been playing role as a “Super Hero”. She has been my mother and my father also, she used to work, thus there’s no time for her  to accompany me in taking my school report. I thought “yes, this is an unimportant thing ” I just saw it as a trivial thing.

But I never can lie to myself, that I wanted to be like my friends whom accompanied by their mommy or daddy, I couldn’t pretend that even though I am a senior high school student, but I am a daughter also who really need the appreciation from my parents, compliment, advice even anger. I was ever jealous to my friend when she received a bad report and her mother was mad at her immediately. I even ever wish she was me, but that wasn’t me.

Even though I didn’t get what I actually hoped,  but I kept striving to do the best in my academic years and in my life also, I keep myself in a good line of a life only for a smile. A  smile from my mother, no matter if she can’t take my school report, no matter how hard I walk, as long as she can smile because of me, that’s more than enough.

And today I got what I want. Today is the first time in my life when my mother accompanied me to go to school and took the report for me after resigning from her job. For the first time, I was so afraid when my mother’s number was called, while my mother was talking with my homeroom I was outside the class room and I was praying that there won’t be a bad thing.

She went out from the class room, and yes I got that smile. The smile that I wanted, the smile which appeared because of me. I immediately asked my mother “what he (my homeroom) has said about me to you, mom?” then my mother just smiled and said “he said that there is no comment for you, we know who you are” and I asked again “how about my report?” and she answered “you got first rank again!” by smiling.

How happy I was! I could see her smile clearly. At last, I got her smile again. That was cute and unforgettable moment. My heart even cried, everything happened in my life because of her, because of her praying. She never asks me to be the best, she never asks me to be what she wants to be either. But without those requesting words, I have already known what she wants from me, from her only daughter.  Life has changed, but I never change and will never. I might be a different person, I have grown up, mature and better. But forever until I die, I just want to be a reason why she smiles, I want to be a reason of my mother’s smile. I love you deeply, dear my hero …

My home sweet home, December 12 2013

22:09

Siti Rahmah Hanifa