The Growth #1 : All About Ups and Downs

To the youths outside who have been struggling so hard for reaching your dreams yet (still) experience failure again and again.
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Through this writing, I do not want to mention that I have done reaching my dreams; no. dreaming is never ending progress. Once we’ve done one climbing, it’s leading us to another higher and perhaps, more difficult path yet more pleasant; that is what I feel and hope you feel the same. However, I have been through those hard times and acknowledged myself nowadays at a higher level of my version. Since I realize that these parts have taught me to be invincible in fighting the negative-side of me, I think it’s worth to share to you. Enjoy reading! :)


PS: I write this in English as an encouragement for you and me

Those four fragments

My fellows, it’s been pleasing to know how people see us when we've done climbing the mount. Seeing us at the top of mountain seems like too cool, inspiring them to do the same, moreover, stepping better than us makes us feel more alive. And yes, I may say that I am one of those who are grateful at most for these all.

But everything is not that simple. Surely what’s seen at the surface is just one per five existed-fragments. They just see one fragment; the top of it. While four others seem invisible yet those are the strongest and the biggest ones. About those four fragments: perhaps only few people know it, or even it is only you yourself.

Persistence, sincerity, determination and trained nerve are those four fragments; in my humble opinion. And those can never be formed without failure experience. Failure is just like the medicinal herbs; it is bitter yet good for our health. It thickens our mental rather than being succeed, it drops us down in some seconds yet lifts us much higher then, it is one of best companions who train us to be much better.

Loser Fighter label

Believe it or not, I once ever labelled myself as a loser. I still remember when I took some opportunities yet failed, at all of them.

“don’t you feel tired of being failed?”

Another said:
“I think Hani has tried many things but always failed”

That question spoken out by one of my closest persons. The purpose was good actually, as an affection. Another, is just like a minor expression, perhaps just a joke. But however, those made me think that I am a loser who will never win, and better to stop giving them a try.

While considering my endeavor, I looked myself in front of the mirror.
“hey! I think it is politer to label myself as a fighter instead of loser. I might fail, but if there is an ‘Award of The Most Persistent Person’, it is going to be mine” me, talking to myself.

Since then, I never care too much about being succeed in something. As long as I fight with my best, it is more than enough.
“you have done your best, Hani!”

Or when I did not give my best
“everything is alright. You can do it better next”

Fighter label creates positive coach within. And it creates me bolder unconsciously.

Express your sorrow

I am a kind of person who is fond of expressing something through sharing; I am truly close with my mother; as you know. And also, with some of people around. I sometimes asked a silly yet common question to them before I share something “Have I ever shared this to you?”, then I will not repeat telling them the same story and make them bored. Hehe

But above is for pleasant things. I have a bit different way to express my heartache, sorrow or problems, like getting failed in something and others. I used to be saving it to my own, letting me only by myself, letting my tears dropping, running for more than 2 km to feel the resonance of the power within, talking to Allah and drowning in a peace. And those always make me feel much better.

And every person has various ways in expressing, included you. But here, I would tell you that expressing your sorrow is essential. Trying to smirk and pretending to yourself as if everything is alright are not right. If you need to cry, just cry. If you need to scream, just scream (but choose the appropriate spot for this). If you need to be alone, just go alone. If you want to take a break, just take a break. Breathe! Do whatever (as long as its purpose is for taking care of you) and get freshened!

You will be the expert, even if you don’t expect it

The remarks by prominent figure is just like a clear-cut; that the beginning is never easy. Comparing by my succeed story, I think I experienced failures more than it. Since the beginning of middle school, I was excited to get involve in international programs and became part of this world no matter about all limits I had; I have my voices, I said.

Attempting this and that emerges my curiosity to give them a try more and more. Rather than the result itself, I started enjoying the process. I see many things from different perspective, learn as much as possible, not only from my failure but also from those people who inspire me by defeating me on the stage. Involving Allah, not only at one point but at every point of my endeavor. There, I found myself grows which brings me a golden lesson: realizing that all I receive is not because of me myself, yet it is accumulated of learning processes and helping from Allah.

I did not expect to be the expert. But as invitations and questions which come related by my experiences lately, I think, I did it :) even though for me, I haven’t been the expert yet, but the small steps I have been taking brings me to another higher level. And it is valid for you too. A big note that I want to emphasize for you and for me is: when we get on that point, share as much as possible without asking for return. There is a lot of blessing by sharing your positive energy.

Habits in keeping up the spirit

Before closing this sharing session, I would like to share some habits to keep up the spirit:

- get the energy from Allah, by praying you yourself and others
- sleep earlier, wake up earlier
- ask a routine question to yourself in the morning: who are you gonna be today
- write your dreams and pursue them
- make to do list as your small but persistent steps
- process and progress oriented
- tapping social media accounts only for purpose
- seeing bad things that occurred as normal thing
- never compare your beginning to other’s middle, everyone has their own canvas
- recharge your energy by sharing with inspiring people
- let people come and go, they deserve to live in their lives; so do you
- be present entirely
- nurture your positive actions
- do good things for people
- listening podcast
- when finished something, ask yourself: what’s next?
- have a quality break-time
- know your feeling deeper, discussing with yourself as best companion
- avoid toxic people
- train to say no for things you don’t want
- make yourself as priority
- falling in love with yourself before others

Do you have any habits you want to share? Or a question for me? Do not hesitate to write them on the comment box below or DM to @srhanifa

Happy Monday!
hope this can be your day-to-day energy

See you :)